Intimacy isn’t just about sex, love, or relationships. It’s about courage, improvisation and authenticity. It requires us to give something of ourselves and see what happens. We have to go out on a limb and trust in order to reveal what’s true right now.
Unfortunately, deepening our intimacy skills is not a simple formula. It’s a dedicated set of courageous responses to an ever-changing set of momentary choices. When we feel courageous enough, self-aware enough, safe enough to open up to what’s real, this is an invitation for others to step into the vibrant unknown with us.
I recently worked with a client who had a lover request a period of monogamy. My client felt angry about this request, and needed help seeing the full picture. Through tuning into their body and working with the sensations of anger, we discovered their lover was actually inviting them into deeper intimacy. This shifted my client out of anger and into tenderness and fear: what will this deeper intimacy reveal? And do they have the courage to be seen in it?
The power of improvisation and authenticity is what brings us into deeper intimacy. Finding friends, lovers and practitioners to join us in the unknown is one of the greatest gifts we can receive.